Many people who are getting ready to celebrate Shabbat for the first time ask me the same question: If I’m supposed to be relaxing, why is this so much WORK?
It can feel overwhelming: the cooking, the cleaning, not to mention getting all of the ritual objects ready and making sure you didn’t accidentally forget something important.
A lot of times, as we’re rushing around trying to create the perfect Shabbat celebration, we forget why we need to celebrate Shabbat in the first place. I love a beautiful table, but not at the expense of what shabbat is about in the first place….
It’s not about trying to live up to some expectations of our ancestors.
It’s about taking the time to really sit and be present with your friends and family, without the distractions of pinging cell phones. It’s about the joy – or oneg – of taking time out of your crazy week to stop, unplug and experience traditions that have helped keep our community together for thousands of years.
When my kids were young, I was often excited to celebrate Shabbat but found Fridays overwhelming with all of the preparations. Sometimes, in a pinch, it can help to have a few shortcuts to make sure you get straight to the good stuff and don’t get bogged down in the details.
That’s why, for example, I sometimes use premade chicken stock in my chicken soup, because I’m more likely to make homemade Jewish chicken soup if I can get a little help along the way.
Celebrating Shabbat isn’t a contest, and there’s no perfect way to do it. My hope for all of us is that we stop trying to be perfect. That’s why I created Oneg, a new initiative to help make Shabbat easier, more accessible, meaningful and – of course – fun!
One of our first offerings is a carefully curated Shabbat Box, which includes everything you need for Shabbat in a single place, including candlesticks, a challah cover, a kiddush cup and interactive guides for the blessings.
Oneg translates from Hebrew as “the Joy of Shabbat,” but for me, Oneg is about more than just joy. It’s about connection. The kind of connection that comes from deep conversations or retelling stories so funny you cry. Connection that is only possible when you take a conscious break from the rest of your life and put your energy towards the people who matter most to you.
This Oneg, this joy, has been so important to me over the years, and now I want to help as many people as possible discover it as well. So lean on us to take care of some of the details while you make sure to concentrate on what’s really the most important joy of celebrating Shabbat: connecting with the people you love.
Frequently Asked Questions
How is Shabbat celebrated?
There’s no right or wrong way to celebrate Shabbat; every person celebrates the holiday differently. Depending on your own preferences and traditions, a Shabbat celebration may include:
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Friday night rituals: On Friday nights, Shabbat is celebrated by lighting candles, saying Kiddush (the blessing over the wine), drinking wine, and eating challah. It’s often followed by a shared meal.
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Saturday morning services: On Saturday mornings, many choose to celebrate Shabbat by going to synagogue for services.
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Havdalah: Havdalah is the ceremony that ends Shabbat. It includes prayers, candle lighting, and gathering with the community.
Do you celebrate Shabbat every week?
Yes, Shabbat is celebrated every week, from Friday night to Saturday night. If Shabbat aligns with another Jewish holiday, it’s still celebrated, but the celebration is often blended with the celebration of the other holiday, so it may look a little different.
How can I make preparing to celebrate Shabbat easier?
Preparing to celebrate Shabbat doesn’t have to be a huge ordeal. Instead of doing it all on Friday, prep in stages throughout the week. Cook dishes ahead that taste great reheated. Set the table early and keep your Shabbat items in one place. A little planning turns frantic prep into a calm, enjoyable ritual.
Our Shabbat box also makes preparing for the holiday easier. It keeps everything you need to celebrate Shabbat all in one place, so you can easily retrieve your ritual items.
How can I focus more on connection while celebrating Shabbat?
To focus on connection while celebrating Shabbat, put phones, computers, and other technology away and protect your time together. Use conversation cards to spark meaningful talk around the table. Keep the meal simple so you're not stuck in the kitchen. Shabbat is about presence, not perfection.
How do I start celebrating Shabbat if I'm new to it?
To begin celebrating Shabbat, start with one or two rituals that feel manageable. Light candles, share challah, or simply pause to mark the end of your week. There's no right or wrong way to start celebrating Shabbat. Let your practice grow as you become more comfortable.
How can I make Shabbat meaningful when I'm short on time?
Focus on what parts of the Shabbat celebration matter most to you. Even if you can’t dedicate a whole 24 hours to Shabbat, just ten minutes of candlelight and a blessing can shift your evening. Choose rituals that bring peace without adding stress. A shorter, intentional Shabbat is better than skipping it entirely.
What are easy ways to be more present with family on Shabbat?
Spending time with family and community are some of the most important aspects of Shabbat. Create phone-free zones and give everyone a role in the meal. Ask a question that invites real conversation. Slow down between courses and let moments breathe. Presence comes from small, intentional choices that signal this time is set apart.
